She is an alumni of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. There are 18 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed , times. Everyone is familiar with feelings of frustration, whether stemming from your efforts falling short of achieving a set of goals or someone else's efforts failing to meet your expectations or needs. Coping with frustration is all about recognizing the sources that trigger the feeling and using the proper techniques to choose a different emotional response.
Anger and frustration are signs you need to set boundaries. You might get angry or frustrated with a friend or family member, and those feelings can signal that it's time to set boundaries with the person. This type of frustration is good because it's important to know what your limits in a relationship are.
Learn to accept things for how they are. Until you can accept the way things are, even if they're not okay with you, you can't deal with your anger and frustration constructively.
Once you come to terms with the situation and that you can't change it, you can start to manage and change your feelings.
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment. Read More To cope with frustration, start by taking a deep breath, counting to 4 as you inhale, then counting to 4 as you exhale.
Continue breathing deeply until you feel calm. Make sure that you give the other person a chance to be heard, then try to reach a compromise.
For more tips, like how to change your perspective to deal with frustration, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue. No account yet? Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article methods.
Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1. Learn your triggers. A trigger is an element in your environment that causes a sudden emotional reaction in you that is disproportionate to the trigger itself. There are some common triggers, but everyone has a different set of circumstances that causes these frustrated feelings. Do you get frustrated when you are forced to wait and do nothing? For example, traffic jams or waiting in a check-out line.
Do you get frustrated when people do not meet your personal expectations or disrupt your work? For instance, someone sending you a text or email that throws off your day. Do you get frustrated with difficult problems? For instance, does difficult homework tend to provoke an outburst? Avoid your triggers whenever possible. Knowing what tends to touch a nerve will help you recognize when these feelings are likely to strike and avoid the trigger as often as possible.
Triggers are often automatic reactions, so simply knowing your triggers can often help control when you're presented with one. For example, keep your phone on silent when you need to work without disruption or get up and take a break from a difficult work or school assignment if you can feel it building toward an outbreak of frustration.
If you simply cannot avoid the trigger, try your best to realize that triggers are themselves thought patterns that you can choose to allow or not despite how hard it is to change them. Go to source Once triggered, take time to think rather than reacting impulsively. Practice stress-management breathing. Relaxed, regulated breathing changes the chemistry of the brain so activity is dominated by the thoughtful neocortex, not the fight-or-flight amygdala. The Mind Brain Relationship. NY: Other Press.
This is how conscious, focused breathing can help you to avoid impulsive action or rash words. Breathe deeply. Before you act out of anger or frustration, pause and a take a deep breath. Count to four slowly as you breathe in, then count to four again as you breathe out. Repeat until you feel calm. Go to source. Manage your expectations of others. People can be irrational, self-centered, unfair, and inconsistent.
You can always control your own reaction, but never the other person's behavior. For instance, say you have a friend who is always late for everything but is otherwise a great friend. Manage your expectation by realizing that you simply cannot make your friend show up on time, but you can control what you invite her to. If you know that punctuality is one of your triggers, then avoid putting her in situations where promptness is an issue.
Cultivate your own self-sufficiency. Feeling helpless may be overcome by setting and working on goals in whatever may be important to you.
So, is your frustration due to something you could take on yourself as a short term goal? For example, if you are frustrated with how your roommate doesn't take out the trash though previously agreed, maybe you should just take it out yourself rather than simmer in hostility.
Then ask the other person to do a different chore instead. Avoid perfectionism in dealing with people. People can be frustrating when they do not act consistently. But that is simply being human - humans are not robots or computers. That can be disappointing, but accepting that the other is not perfect, and neither are you is important in dealing with people.
Check in with yourself about relationships. Frustration is a stressor that causes the release of adrenaline and other neurochemicals, which can act together to make you act impulsively and even aggressively. Check that your response is neither excessive nor insufficient. Ask yourself these questions to help you figure out how to respond to the current situation: Are things really as I perceive them? What might I be missing here?
Will what happened now matter in a day? A week? A year? Unresolved frustration and anger may grow until you are not able to deal with them. You may then yell, scream, or hit someone or something. Unexpressed frustration and anger can also cause other problems, such as physical illness or depression.
The first step in overcoming frustration and anger is to recognize that you are feeling these emotions. Many people were taught as children not to express frustration and anger. If you are feeling bottled up inside and are not sure what to do about it, try:.
If you continue to have trouble overcoming your frustration and anger, or if you have had problems with anger in the past, talk about your concerns with someone you trust, such as a clergy person or a health professional. You may decide to join a self-help group or seek counselling. Author: Healthwise Staff. This information does not replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise, Incorporated, disclaims any warranty or liability for your use of this information.
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Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated. It looks like your browser does not have JavaScript enabled. Trying positive self-talk or positive affirmations anytime you have a chance. I wish to throw my 2 cents. Back in college when i got frustrated i would just go to sleep. When i wake up after a 4 hour sleep thinks always seemed better. Next post: Inspiring Love Quotes Update. It winds you up and can take so much out of you.
Because it not only sucks energy but also distracts you and can steal quite a bit of time. So what can you do? There are ways to turn such a state of mind or day around. Step 1: Be here now. You can do so by for example: Focusing on your breathing. Sit down, close your eyes and just focus on the air going and out of your nose for minutes.
Take calm and slightly deeper breaths than usual and breathe with your belly and not your chest. Focus on what is around you at this time. Do this for minutes to get your attention back to the present moment. Step 2: Appreciate what you do have. The quickest and easiest way to do so is to focus it on appreciating what you do have.
Like for instance: A warm home and a roof over your head. Plenty of drinkable water. Not having to go hungry. Access to the internet and perhaps your own place to express yourself. Your friends and family. Step 3: Focus on what you can do right now.
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